Wow, I am in pure awe. I've never seen anyone use rhetoric in such a way to convey a purpose. Your sentence structure of short periodic sentences, juxtaposed to the elongated compound-complex sentence, is truly a work of novelty that I have yet to see to this day. The lack of imagery in every way possible is a great satirical comment on how black-and-white our lives really are. As a society, we need to wake up and "smell the coffee". You also made great use of ethos by establishing your tone as a leader so that the reader thought that they were going through the novelette with you rather than against you. The colloquialism of your jargon was also quite interesting but may be summarized as a cliche in certain aspects. Your logos of using a linear relationships (Start to end) was also very straightforward and thus easy to follow. And your ethos was simply amazing, I truly felt tied to the entire story. The overall tone also complimented the tension you created between your syntax. Truly a work of the ages. I find your use of ellipses very interesting as well, to contrast the lack of other general grammar. I can almost feel the tension.
10/10, would critique again.
